Theo's Birth Story

To begin my birth story I need to note that initially my pregnancy was quite normal and low risk. The only unusual aspect was that my weight gain was sporadic. Some prenatal visits I wouldn't have gained any weight, and then, the next visit I would have jumped ten pounds. But that wasn't much cause for concern. That "normal-ness" however, shifted when I reached my third trimester. Almost as soon as I reach 28 weeks the growth and weight gain began slowly but steadily slipping off the chart. Initially my doctor wasn't too concerned, after all I'd been a bit inconsistent the whole time. But as the growth kept falling further and further each successive week my doctor began referring to potential growth restriction issues and decided that a detailed 38 week ultrasound was in order. 

In Japan, five months pregnant

During the 38 week ultrasound, on Tuesday, July 15, (during which I nearly fainted from lying on my back for so long, since babies can cut off blood circulation in that position) they concluded that Theo was looking very small and recommended we go straight to the hospital for a second ultrasound and potential induction of labour. When we arrived at the hospital everything took ages. The second ultrasound lasted twice as long as the first one because they needed to ensure that Theo was practicing breathing before they would consider inducing, and he didn't feel like practicing for over thirty minutes. So we all sat in a dark room and stared at a scan of his lungs. Then after they wrapped up the ultrasound it turned out that the specialist they wanted had left for the day. Rather than send me home they wanted me to spend the night in the hospital until the specialist came back. 

My last bump picture, at 37 weeks pregnant.

A very sleepless night for me followed and the next day, July 16, we waited till past noon for the specialist. When she arrived it turned out she was somewhat undecided about whether or not an induction was necessary. On the one hand, it might simply be that Theo was small because Andrew and I are small. But given the growth pattern there was the risk that my placenta was no longer providing sufficient nutrition for growth. In the end, after some discussion with her, Andrew and I decided to induce because there was a potential risk of fetal distress if we waited and were wrong. Since I was at 38 weeks it would only be slightly premature, and the potential benefit outweighed the risk.

Hanging out in a hospital, hooked up to monitors, not sleeping and not having a baby.

At 4pm on July 16 they put me on pitocin. Since it was an induction they put Theo on constant heart monitoring, and warned that if his heart decelerated (indicating stress) they would need to do an emergency c-section.  For the next 10 hours nothing happened. I had extremely inconsistent mild contractions. Even after they had increased the pitocin to the highest dose my contractions continued to mild and Braxton hicks-isa. They were so underwhelming I only knew they were happening by looking at the monitor. At 2am (July 17th) my doctor came in and found that after I had dilated half a centimeter since the induction had started. Less than thrilling progress. 

He recommended breaking my water in the hopes that it would kick my body into gear. 

After breaking my water the contractions immediately seemed to jumped from zero to sixty. They got incredibly intense and rapid, with very little time in between for me to recover. I went from ignoring them to suddenly being in high gear pain management. I had researched natural birthing practices and ended up studying both the Bradley method and hypnobirthing. I preferred the technique in hypnobirthing, but once the contractions became so intense it didn't seem like hypnobirthing was cutting it, so I tried switching to Bradley (the techniques are complementary enough that I could). 

It did not work. 

Turned out hypnobreathing was actually helping a lot and I just hadn't appreciated how much my contractions could hurt. I switched back. 

Initially during this time Andrew had been asleep. Since we didn't know how long it would take and I wanted him rested later on. But eventually I got a bit whimper-y and he woke up. I didn't really want anyone to talk to me or distract me, but he very helpfully held a cup of ice. I couldn't get out of bed because of the constant heart monitoring and pitocin IV, since there were cords and tubes hooked in on both sides of the bed.

Even though my labour hadn't been active for very long I quickly began feeling exhausted. I hadn't slept in over thirty-six hours and I felt like I was pouring all my energy into managing the pain and intensity of the pitocin-fueled contractions. After an hour and a half I felt like I was already fading and was I sincerely worried that if I got too exhausted I wouldn't be able to push in the end and I'd get an emergency c-section. I called the nurse and asked if she could check my progress. But since my water was broken she was reluctant to check due to the increased risk of infection. She advised me that I probably had another eight to ten hours to go and warned me that the intensity of my contractions was only beginning. I was, after all, only at the very beginning of labour. 

Then, as icing on the cake, for reasons I do not understand, I threw up. While I had thought that nonstop contractions were the worst, it turns out that throwing up while having nonstop contractions is even more awful. Why? Because your body is involuntarily contracting in two opposite directions, which (for those who have never done it) feels rather like being ripped in half by your own abdomen. 

After another hour of contractions I was convinced that I couldn't handle eight more hours of labour by myself. I had always thought of myself as someone with a high pain tolerance. In fact, I'd been so unconcerned about labor I hadn't really devoted much thought to it. But now, being in labour, I discovered that I was actually a massive wimp and having a baby really really hurt. I'd told the nurses I wanted to try to labour naturally, but the thought of handling progressively stronger and stronger contractions for another ten hours? No. I knew when I was beat.

So Andrew and I discussed it and I ended up requesting an epidural. It took half an hour for them to bring in the anesthesiologist, since it turned out the entire labour and delivery wing was full. When he finally arrived he warned me, before I sat up, that once he started putting in the needle in he couldn't stop and I had to stay still even through a contraction. I acknowledged this, braced myself mentally, and they pulled me up into sitting position. A millisecond after the anesthesiologist began inserting the needle, I began pushing. 

I'm not sure who in the hospital room was the most shocked. I was astonished because I had expected to have hours of labour ahead of me. The anesthesiologist and the nurse both began shouting and the nurse ordered me to scream but not to push. After they finished the epidural they laid me back down and the nurse checked. Turned out I was fully dilated and Theo was crowning. That feeling that everything was impossible and I couldn't handle it anymore was me going through transition.

Then there was a lot of running around and shouting as they raced to prep the room for delivery before I gave birth. They weren't sure where my doctor was and he didn't immediately respond to paging, so they laid out two sets of delivery equipment, in the large sized for my doctor and then also medium in case they had to just grab someone else. The nurse even asked the anesthesiologist when he last delivered a baby. I think she was joking.

Then my doctor came bolting in and got into position. I started pushing and, in between, reminded my doctor that I wanted delayed cord clamping. (It was the only part of my birth plan that I cared about, and I was 99% sure no one had looked at it. Priorities, people.) The nurse kept darting between the bed and the computer trying to enter information during every time I wasn't actively pushing. 

About ten minutes after my epidural, and eight minutes after the doctor arrived, at 5:17am on July 17th, Theo was born.

They lifted him up into my arms and I barked "I want delayed clamping!" 

Of course, he looked exactly like Andrew right down to the skeptical eyebrow quirk. 

Note Theo's skeptical "Andrew-face."

It turned out I had a tiny bit of tearing. But by the time they got around to attending to it my epidural had kicked in and I was totally numb for my two stitches. 

The nurses were both rather sheepish after the fact. Apparently I'm rather verbose and didn't appear to be in any pain. And my ability to converse through my contractions and delivery caused some confusion. But I didn't care. I was must more focused on doing all those cliche mother things, like counting fingers and toes, and wondering over how much hair Theo had.

And it turned out that Theo was actually more than pound heavier than they'd estimated via ultrasound. Six pounds two ounces, 19 1/2 inches long. He didn't have to go to the NICU or get any extra monitoring. He was just perfect. 

Beginning yet again

  

New home, new determination to blog.

Let's see how long the latter lasts. Actually, let's see how long either lasts. We have now moved FOUR TIMES in less than two years. 

Granted, one of those moves was within the same buildings. But STILL. 

I have told Andrew I am never going to move again after this. We are just going to have to live in this new apartment forever. 

It's a two bedroom with just over a seven hundred square feet. So smaller than our last space, but we actually don't have that much stuff and much of what we do have is temporary-ish kid stuff, like cribs and car seats and strollers. Seriously, excluding the kid stuff, I don't think we even have 10 pieces of furniture. 

The biggest thing honestly is books. We have so many books and they literally have done nothing for the past two years but sit in boxes. Andrew has an entire floor to ceiling bookshelf worth of theology books he's holding onto with the plan of going back to seminary eventually. And even though I was pretty ruthless during our move out from D.C., I still have about a full bookshelf and a half worth myself, although a lot of those are classics I'm holding onto because I want them to be on our shelves when Theo and L get older. But still it's so much to keep dragging around right now. I keep questioning whether I'm falling for the sunk cost fallacy by just dragging them along with me move after move. 

The trouble is that in Andrew's case seminary books are expensive to buy and basically worthless to resell. In my

case, I'm actually tremendously sentimental about the particular copies I own. Some of them I inherited from my mother, and a lot of the classic children's books are antiques I curated over the years with my father back when I was in my teens. My criteria was that they had to be in good condition, with beautiful illustrations, and less than $8.... it took me years to find some of the books on my list, like Hans Brinker, I spent five years trying to find a copy that met all the requirements. 

So, the ten unopened boxes of books come with us. 

Luckily, last year I bought a bedframe with a simply incredible amount of storage space under it. So we can stash all the books under the bed until we decide to pull them out and buy enough bookshelves to accommodate them. 

My new kitchen is quite a bit smaller too. I've been brainstorming the best way to organize and store my cooking equipment. For the most part I have a pretty slim and multipurpose selection of cooking items, honestly 90% of my cooking is typically done with chopsticks. But, I'm really not as neat in the kitchen as I'd like. I hate having cluttered counters, but they always seem to be accumulating things on them. Now I'm not going to have a spare inch to spare, so maybe I'll be driven to keep the surfaces as clean as I always intend to. 

I read through Marie Kondo's book Spark Joy and her recommendation for kitchens is to organize them for ease of cleaning rather than ease of cooking; meaning try to put every last thing into the cabinets so that the surfaces are easy to wipe down. I've had the kitchen mostly organized for about two days now and it seems true. I'm still fiddling around with it though. But focusing on cleaning efficiently rather than cooking definitely seemst to be on the mark. Andrew washed the dishes for the first time in the new space and immediately commented on how much easier it was. 

But so far this move seems good. The area is so perfect for our family right now, there are closer parks and grocery stores and we're further from busy roads. Despite having just moved with a toddler and a mobile infant life actually feels easier. I'm sure there will be bumps ahead, but feel really happy about this. Then again, that might just be because the sun came out this week. 

Baby Favourites 6 to 12 months

This post is so overdue. I meant to do a 6-9 month post but we ended up rather spontaneously deciding to move to Portland...so I sort of forgot about blogging in the moving chaos. But, now that things have slowed down again, I thought I should catch up and at least try to finish up the year.

 A year.... I can't believe that my baby is going to be a year old in a week.

Toys
Theo is just not really that into toys, he plays with them, but they tend to only occupy a fraction of his day, and, once he figures a toy out he never wants to play with it again. I have tried rotating his toys in and out of storage, but even after three months he still remembers them and doesn't find them interesting. The few toys that hold his attention in the long term have been those that are unpredictable or a bit beyond his age range and ability. The toys that have ended up being a worthwhile investment and consistently been used beyond the first 20 minutes are:

Left-Right Car
Andrew and I picked this toy out for Theo during our babymoon in Japan so we are thrilled that he loves it so much. We gave it to him when he was five months old even though it's recommended for a toddler aged child and he figured out how to push it along in just a few weeks and make a "Vrmmmm" sound. Six months later he still loves it and plays with it constantly.

Plan Dog Rattle

A friend sent this to Theo and it has been his favourite small toy. He is obsessed with dogs right now, talks about them non-stop, and he loves wriggling the ears and saying woof as he shakes it. 

Plan Block Sorter
I got this toy for Theo a good bit before he was able to sort blocks because I wanted him to be able to grow into it. He loves carrying things about and so the cylindrical blocks have been a huge hit since he can fit them neatly into his hands even if he's crawling around. We supplemented it with the Plan Activity Blocks since they fit into the square hole, and he likes shaking the blocks with bells inside. But if I were to do it again I would consider getting the Manhattan Toy Co. Shape Shorter instead, since it has an open top, because when Theo does block sorting he always wants to take the lid off after putting each block through to look inside.

Nuby Bath Cups
We got these for Theo back around Christmas time because he loves his bath. I really don't like buying plastic things, so I still cringe every time I see them, but they are BPA free, and I haven't found any better alternatives. However, if anyone can recommend a good non-plastic boat that actually works I'd be thrilled. But, my reservations aside, these cups are pretty great, Theo initially loved them just for splashing and watching the water pour from the holes, but now that he's older he's able to both stack them into a tower and nest them which can occupy him for a nice long bath.

Indestructible Books 
My sister-in-law gave me two of these books and Theo loves them. He's really into animal sounds and so we read the Jungle Rumble and Plip Plop Pond together quite often and I personally love the art. They also sit very nicely at the very bottom of my bag, so I can carry one around without it taking up too much space.

Wobble Around Bead Toy
Theo really got into playing with bead toys, especially a large table one at my favourite consignment baby clothes store, but because of our limited space we really didn't want to buy something so large and limited in its uses. My sister-in-law introduced me to a little one by Manhattan Toy Co and it's been a big hit with Theo, it's a newer toy, so I'm not sure if it will hold his interest in the long term, but it's still going strong after a month.

Hohner Glockenspiel 
Theo's Grandmama (who is a music teacher) bought this little glockenspiel for him and in recent weeks he has gotten quite fond of it. It took him a little while to figure out how to get it to make sounds but now that he's getting the hang of it he likes taking the little mallet and hitting everything to see if his other toys make noise too. Sometimes he tries to sing when he plays it, which might be one of the cutest things I have ever seen in my life.

Baby Care
Theo's bedtime remains basically identical to the routine we have used since he was six weeks old. We don't use a sleepsack any more because it's been too hot lately, and since his first teeth arrived we started using a toothbrush which we give to him to chew on during bedtime stories and then again in the morning when I brush my teeth too. I really like Green Sprouts Toothbrush since it's soft everywhere and large enough that he can maneuver it.

OXO Bib
This bib is easily one of the best baby products I have found. I had always heard that the Bjorn bib was the best, but having used both now I hands down prefer OXO. A huge part of the appeal is its portability; it can go everywhere because it rolls up neatly into itself. I also love that it's super bendy and flexible; Theo is small, the Bjorn bib is literally too wide for him to wear comfortably because it blocks his arms from crossing his body and limits his ability to feed himself (and I literally never figured out a good place to stash it at home since it didn't fit anywhere), the OXO bib fits against his body and bends with him, and I can throw it in the laundry if I want to. My only criticism is that the "catch" for keeping it rolled up doesn't always hold and so occasionally it becomes unrolled in my bag, but it's only a minor critique since other bibs don't roll up at all.

Kleen Kanteen 
Theo was a bit tricky to convince to drink water, like me *blush* he didn't like the taste of water and so he would only drink green tea for about four months. But especially as temperatures have soared in Portland I worked really hard to encourage him to drink water and had to go through a couple of different cups to figure out one that worked well for us. A friend bought a Kleen Kanteen for him one day and it's become the new go-to method of getting water into him.

Misting Spray Bottle
It has been oppressively hot in Portland lately and so I have started carrying a little mist sprayer in my bag to mist Theo (and myself) to keep cool. Theo loves getting spritzed and thinks it is the funniest thing. It's a little thing and takes of minimal space in my bag, but has saved the day a couple of times already.

Transport
Moving to Portland, Andrew and I decided to try going carless, we had been talking about it for a while and barely used the car we had in DC so upon our move we decided to give it a try. We had been talking about getting bikes for a while and really our timing ended up being perfect because at 9 months Theo was right at the age where we could start riding around with him.

Yepp Mini
The Yepp Mini was recommended to us by a couple bike shops and after doing some of my own research I concurred the advice. It's made by a Dutch bike company and is made out of a foam croc-like material that makes it comfy and also doesn't get too hot from sitting in the sun. It sits at the front of the bike, which is safer, and allows Theo to have a great view while I am close enough to be able to easily see and interact with him as needed. Theo just loves riding around and we're able to get all over Portland really easily. And I am getting so stinkin' fit, from going up all the hills in Portland.

Linus SAC Bike Bag
I've used tote bags as my diaper bag since Theo was born but my casual tote was dying a slow and terrible death after enduring six years of my abuse (first college books and then a baby, poor thing) so I decided it was time for an upgrade. I ended up getting a bike pannier bag as my diaper bag and it has been fantastic. The style that I chose is deeper than your typical bag and the top folds over (which conceals the hooks used to latch onto the bike) so that I'm not walking around with an open topped bag begging people to snatch my phone or wallet off the top. It's made of waxed canvas so I don't have to worry about the contents getting wet, and on the occasions when I really need more space, the top "fold over" section can stand up and I could easily fit a baguette inside. I actually got a second one, so that I have a place to stick groceries, picnics and picnic blankets, baby carrier, or anything else that won't fit into my main bag and it doesn't hurt that it gives my bike a nice balance look.

Postpartum Meal Planning

One of the things that I was most worried about postpartum was food. I'm not really a meal planner; I tend to decide what to make for dinner based off my mood, the weather, and what looks fresh. Our grocery store is so close we generally walk to it 3-5 times a week and buy things as we need them rather than stocking up. But I knew that approach wasn't going to work well with a newborn, so I decided that I needed to meal plan for postpartum.

I wanted to be able to take a nice long break from cooking. I had no idea what Theo would be like or how I would handle delivery emotionally or physically, so I decided to prepare for postpartum as generously as possible (I was probably a boy scout in a previous life). I tried to imagine myself completely bed-ridden for weeks and planned accordingly. Luckily I bounced back from delivery pretty much immediately, but thanks to my obsessive planning I was able to take a six week break from cooking. Then during weeks seven and eight I gradually eased back into cooking as I figured out how to juggle both meal-prep and a baby.

This is absolutely something I intend to do again with any future babies. The ability to have meals off my mind for such a long stretch, able to spend all my time figuring out motherhood was incredibly liberating. And, by the time I returned to cooking, I missed it and was ready to start. It was also a relief, because although several dear friends brought us meals, due to timing, we didn't get any for the first five days home. Without the extra-meals we had on hand Andrew would have had to be constantly running to take-out restaurants.

I started planning out my postpartum meal plan about midway through my second trimester but I didn't start making them until 32 weeks to avoid the risk of freezer burn (three months is the best-before timeframe for freezer meals, and I wanted to factor in the risk of being overdue). I did a bit of research on what doesn't do well in the freezer (here is a list of foods to avoid freezing), and then tried to come up with meals that could be frozen but also included simple sides that Andrew could make (e.g. A curry dish that was reheated in a pan, that had fresh rice made in the rice cooker, and Indian style bread that Andrew could pick up from grocery store on his way home) so that it didn't feel like we were only eating frozen food.

I made the meals by making double/triple batches at dinner and then freezing half. That way I didn't tire myself by cooking all afternoon and then having to make dinner (especially near the end, my feet would get very tired). I stored everything in freezer bags as flat as I could get them so that they would fit in our tiny freezer, and I wrote down the reheating instructions, and any sides that should be bought onto the bag with a sharpie so that Andrew had all the instructions in the same place. 

Andrew and I like a lot of ethnic food, so I imagine the meal plan for most people would be a bit different. But I'm sharing what I made to illustrate the variety that is possible. I didn't want our diet to become radically differ so I tried to figure out freezer-friendly ways of making the things we already liked to eat. Since Andrew didn't mind doing a little bit of straight forward cooking that also broadened my options. But it's all about what works for you and what makes the early days as easy as possible.

Italian Zucchini Soup
I made several double batches. When the soup was almost done simmering, but the vegetables were still somewhat undercooked, I separated out half and let it cool while the portion for that night's dinner finished cooking. That way the vegetables didn't become mushy and overcooked by the defrosting and reheating process.
We pulled out one of the bags to thaw in the fridge when we headed to the hospital and it was ready to dump into a pot and heat when we got home. We had a crusty French baguette on the side.

Indian Curry (Kheema Matar)
This recipe has you cook and season the meat and then add frozen peas as the final step. So I excluded the final step and froze the seasoned meat. Then when Andrew reheated it in a pan he added the peas (so that they weren't wilted from recooking). He also made a batch of basmati rice in our rice cooker. Whole Foods sells the Indian style bread, Naan, so Andrew picked it up on his way home. That way we had a full Indian Curry dinner with minimal cooking and prep.

Sloppy Joes
This was the one meal I made just because it was freeze-able and not because we ever ate it previously. I wanted to add more variety. Andrew doesn't consider sloppy joes a favorite, but we ended up being glad for the variety. I liked having something so high in protein for lunch that was easy to reheat when Andrew went back to work. It just required Andrew to pick up some hamburger buns and a quick reheating in a pan.

Chicken Pot Pie
I made two, but if I did it again I'd make four because we love chicken pot pie. We put the pot pie into the oven still frozen, covered with aluminum foil for the first hour, then we removed the foil and baked it for another hour.
One tip I learned from a cooking blog to avoid losing your pan to the freezer for months by lining your pan with saran wrap when you make the pie, once the pie is frozen you can take it out of the pan and just keep it in the freezer wrapped in saran wrap until you're going to bake it, then you remove the wrap and put it into the pan to bake. Or you could just buy an aluminum pan from the grocery store.

Chicken Lettuce Wraps
This just required reheating in a pan, with rice made in the rice cooker and iceberg lettuce.

Hamburgers

We add an egg, onions, and some spices to our hamburgers (and sometimes eat them with rice [its a Japanese thing]. So I made (I think) around 16 hamburger patties, wrapped them in sets of two in some wax paper, and stored them eight per freezer bag. We would take them out to thaw as we wanted them.

Spicy Korean Pork
Since cooking this recipe is simple, I sliced the meat, mixed it with the marinaded, and froze it raw. When Andrew got it out, he just sliced up an onion, added it to the bag, and then stir fried it in a pan. This was another meal that we had with rice.

Beef Bulgogi
This meat was bought frozen and its marinade includes kiwi juice to tenderize the meat. But it's very simple to cook and one of Andrew's favorite recipes, so I really wanted to figure out a way to make it freezer friendly. I didn't want to damage the meat by thawing and then refreezing it, nor did I want to damage the meat by marinating it too long, so  I made the marinade in a freezer bag and rubber-banded the bag to the package of beef. When Andrew got it out to thaw he did so two days ahead of time, one day for the meat to thaw, one day to marinade. Once the meat had defrosted he added it to the ziplock bag of marinade. Then he just put everything into a pan and cooked it. We ate it with rice and kimchi.

I know there were at least five other kinds of meals that I had in my freezer, but somewhere in my new mom haze I deleted the list that I had on my phone. And no matter how hard I rack my brain, I cannot remember what they were. So lame.

We also had a couple meals that just involved a few ingredients that Andrew could pick up from the store and put together pretty easily, like roast beef sandwiches au jus, but we only made things like that a few times. I had also thought about making a batch of chili and having Andrew pick up corn bread from Whole Foods, but since Whole Foods makes very good chili, and cooking was beginning to wear me out we just decided we could pick it up.

Breakfast note: one of the hardest meals for me eat when Andrew went back to work was breakfast because things tended to need to be eaten quickly and that didn't usually happen. I had a stash of protein bars and beef jerky near my nursing chair for emergency hunger moments, but neither option was particularly healthy or appetizing unless the situation was feeling dire. So for me, a life saver was eating cottage cheese mixed with a pineapple-pear fruit cup (Dole's fruit cups are the best, fyi), it had enough protein to sustain me through all the nursing, and if I had to put it down for 15-20 minutes it didn't get inedibly cold, mushy, or any of the other things that breakfast foods tend to do. Greek yogurt would be another good option, I'm just not crazy about yogurt. Of course, this means praying that your baby won't have any issues with your eating dairy products (so if you're hardcore, maybe try to also come up with a non-dairy option as a back up. If Theo had had trouble with dairy products I might possibly have then died of starvation).

 Another thing I'm really glad we did was decide to use paper plates and bowls during those first 6 weeks. We talked about it and although Andrew was completely willing to wash the dishes, we decided that he could use the time much better by spending time with me and Theo or working from home. It reduced kitchen clutter and was one less thing to do. It might sound silly, but those days go by so quickly and can sometimes be so crazy, that every little bit of reduced work is worth it.

Favourite Links From The Week

Happy weekend. I'm hoping to make it down to DC to visit a few art galleries; Andrew and I haven't visited any together since Theo was born. Of course that assumes we don't just decide to sleep all of Saturday like a pair of slobs. The only thing I know I'll be doing is giving Theo's fat little Buddha belly 10,000 kisses.  Here are a few of the most interesting links I found this week.

A compilation of cooking cheat-sheet diagrams

A mum's amazing Instagram account. Her babies are my new inspiration when dressing Theo.

I need a one of these for my bedroom window.

This artist makes some of the most incredible pieces. She's doing an art installation in Davos right now with teabags, utilizing the colour gradient produced by steeping them. Teabags! 

My life doesn't need to look like a lifestyle magazine.

I want to have my next baby in Germany.

This sounds like parenting advice my husband would write.

 Plant power plants!

It melts my heart that this exists.

I want to read all of these books. 

Creating Dinner Conversation

One of the things I loved growing up were the conversations at dinner. Everyone in my family reads voraciously so at any given meal there would be a smorgasbord of topics that we could get into. I love talking. The ability to have a conversation about practically anything was part of what attracted me to Andrew early on; we both like learning about new things, telling each other about it, and exploring hypotheticals. It probably qualifies as a building block in our marriage.

However, life doesn't always leave room for much reading when you're in the midst of a busy season. Some days the extent of my productivity is maybe managing to Skimm the news; while Andrew arrives home having spent his entire day thinking solely about web development. Of course, we catch each other up on our days, but after that conversation can be rather lacking. And, more often than not, turns dinner conversation into a blow-by-blow account of Theo's day. Which is somewhat interesting but doesn't spark compelling dialogue.

I can't recall exactly how or why we ended up coming up with our solution for boring dinner conversation, but I thought I'd share it in case any one else out there is a nerdy as we are. Our solution?

Podcasts.

After catching up on our day for a few minutes (if we didn't already do so during dinner prep), we listen to a 15 minute or so podcast and then talk about it for the rest of the meal.

We're so weird, I know.

But seriously, we know how North Korea makes money, that Fortune Cookies are actually Japanese (Iron Man III lied), and how not to pitch a startup to a billionaire entrepreneur. We also got completely addicted to Serial and discussed the legal system practically non-stop for three weeks.

It's not something we do every night, maybe once or twice a week tops. But it's a nice option to fall back on, especially after a long day. Learning about a shared interest, in the relaxed atmosphere of dinner, helps draw us together intellectually during a season of life when our days are very divergent.

So, on those tired days when we feel like we have nothing interesting to say, we select a podcast, put a phone into a martini glass (we still haven't bought a speaker), and listen to an explanation about how Norway can afford to buy so many Teslas.

(Header image is the logo for Stitcher Radio, my favourite app for podcast and radio listening.)

Baby Favourites 2-6 months

Theo has changed so much during the past four months, I kept meaning to write another post about my favourite baby products but I  didn't want to write a gazillion of them, so I kept putting it off. But, since I loved stalking bloggers to see what products they recommend, I thought that it was only fair to share what we use too. This list is a bit long but includes almost everything we use.

Toys
Theo was slow to take an interest in toys. Even at 6 months he's often more interested in looking at things than he is in playing. But at this point we've accumulated a handful of things that I like a lot and cycle through for him to play with.

After reading Simplicity Parenting Andrew and I felt it would be best to limit our number of toys and get simple ones that allow for open ended play. Of course Theo is too young for open ended play at this point, but we've tried to find toys that can engage him both now and in the future. He's quite fond of stuffed animals and we have six creatures of various sizes and species that we rotate through, and then these toys:

Kathe Kruse Doll This was the first toy that Theo took to. It's almost like a little blanket with hands, feet, and a head attached. Theo could grab it easily and he loved gumming on it. From 2-4 months it was really the only toy he liked and we took it everywhere with us.

Wooden Teething Ring My mother-in-law got this for Theo and it's easily his favourite toy; when he first saw it he burst out laughing and grabbed it. The beaded section is strung on a very sturdy cord and bends so that it can be manipulated and the two rings make it much more interesting to Theo. Even when offered more colourful toys, he prefers his wooden teether over everything else. (The one down side is that it can be a tiny bit noisy, so when we're somewhere requires a quieter toy that won't clatter if dropped, we use these silicon teething rings .)

Sofie the Giraffe I know a lot of people dislike Sofie or consider her overpriced, but I ended up getting her for Theo because his favourite thing to chew were my fingers and Sofie's legs were the closest thing I could find as an alternative. We also use her as the go-to toy when we're at the table, since she can be easily wiped down if she gets pureed food on her.

Squish This is our latest addition to Theo's toy collection, it was one of my family's favourites and offers long term versatility that I like a lot. Theo likes the sound it makes when he shakes it and will play with it for a long time exploring the way it stretches and moves.

Wubbanub Although I know some people that use wubbanub pacifiers from the beginning, our use was delayed until Theo was around 4 months. It's our morning and outing pacifier, since it's easy to keep track of and does double duty as a toy. Theo still hasn't mastered consistently getting a traditional pacifier into his mouth, but he can put his wubbanub in by himself; it's great when he wakes up earlier than usual, I'll give him the wubbanub and he'll play with it for a while and then, when he's sleepy, put it into his mouth and fall back to sleep.

Bedtime
Theo started sleeping in his crib at around 6 weeks and we've been following our bedtime routine quite religiously since then. Most nights Theo heads to bed at around 9-ish. First he and I take a bath together (although if we've stayed out late we skip the bath), which is relaxing for both of us (when he was younger he'd sometimes fall asleep in the water). Then we put him into his pajamas and sleep-sack and then Andrew will come in and read him a bedtime story. Then I nurse him, sing him a song, put him in his crib, give him his pacifier, and he goes to sleep.

California Baby Bubble Bath: This bubble bath is the best ever. It makes so many bubbles and smells delightful. Theo loves trying to eat them and smacking the water to pop them.

Pamper's Extra Protection: Theo will happily sleep up to 14 hours at night, and is miserable if he wakes up before he's slept for at least 12, but he'd get so wet that he'd have trouble staying asleep during the second half of the night and occasionally soaked his pajamas. I started using Pamper's extra-protection and he's slept better ever since. They're scented, which I dislike, but it hasn't bothered his skin and gives him a better night sleep, so I suck up my objections and use them anyway.

Aden and Anais Sleep Sack This sleep sack was a gift that I would never have thought to get on my own but completely love.  It's super cozy and thick and when Theo had to transition out of his swaddles it was fantastic to be able to segue into a sleepsack that was the same soft muslin fabric. We have a Halo sleepsack for backup, but Theo likes his A&A sack the best and gets a bit cold at night otherwise.

The Little Mouse, The Red Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear Theo has no patience for passive narrative bedtime stories like Goodnight Moon or The Big Red Barn, he loves extremely dramatic stories with lots of emotions and drama. The Little Mouse is the story of a mouse trying to save his strawberry from a bear that the narrator has convinced him is coming. Theo loves this book more than any other, Andrew or I read it to him every night.

Eating
Theo started eating solids between 4 and 5 months at the recommendation of his pediatrician. It's largely exploratory at this point, on any given day he'll eat anywhere from a teaspoon to half a cup without any rhyme or reason. We do lots of veggies since he hasn't been particularly keen on fruit or rice or oatmeal.

Inglesina Fast Table Chair So far we've just used this chair that clips onto the table as Theo's high chair. Our apartment lacks any practical place to keep an actual high-chair. I think it's important for Theo to feel like meals are a time when we're all together and this puts him right at the table with us. We used to pull his bouncy seat next to the table and he'd sit between us ever since he was newborn, so he expects to be with us during dinner.

Kidsme Food Feeder I bought this for Theo mostly on a whim but it's ended up being invaluable. He didn't really take to solids until we tried it and it's great since it allows him to have more control over his intake and explore new tastes and textures as he's comfortable. Oftentimes when we introduce him to a new food we'll start with it in the Kidsme and let him decide what he thinks of it. Once he's decided he likes the a new food he prefers how quickly he can eat with a spoon, but he prefers starting with the Kidsme.

Outings
I try to get Theo outside as much as possible, we generally go on a walk every day, usually to the grocery store or along a bike path near our apartment. Theo loves going on outings and gets super excited when a gust of wind hits him. We still use our Armadillo stroller, and it's been fantastic, the only weakness I've found so far is snow, which most compact urban strollers don't handle very well (you'd need something with rubber tires, like a jogging stroller). 

Slouch Headwear Hat Theo tends to be pretty warm, so unless the temp is below 40 we usually just use a light weight beanie as his outing hat. I really like Slouch's beanies since they're great quality and look super cute. Their size range is also a lot better than the other beanies that I looked at, which want you size up constantly.

Robeez boots These were basically Theo's only shoes until very recently. They stay on his feet (unlike every other pair we tried) and like his Slouch hat you don't have to buy the next size up every couple months. Theo has been wearing his for the past three months and they still have some room for growth, so they might make it through the entire autumn and winter. They're super soft and warm. 

7am Enfant Baby Shield I originally got the JJ Cole Bundle Me in the infant size, but Theo has such long legs that he ended up outgrowing it at 3 months. I decided to do more research and see if there was a better option since I hadn't been particularly impressed with the Bundle Me's performance. I had heard that that 7am Enfant's products were great but pricy, which is part of why I was so pleased when I discovered the versatile baby shield. The Baby Shield comes with two different cover weights, so it can be use from autumn through spring, unlike some of the heavy weight buntings that are only useful during extremely cold weather. It's been perfect for us, the heavy weight cover is so toasty warm that we can put Theo into it without any other bundling even when it's very cold.

Beco Gemini Carrier Now that Theo has gotten a bit bigger we've transitioned from the K'tan carrier to the structured Gemini carrier. I like the versatility of it and I've found it very comfortable to wear. Some days Theo just wants to be carried constantly and so being able to put him on my back while I wash the dishes or make myself lunch has been very handy.

Reading

Zero to Five: 70 Essential Parenting Tips Based on Science by Tracy Cutchlow

I discovered this book through Science of Mom and loved it. The information is extremely helpful and I found the author much less divisive than many parenting writers. She lays out the information in a helpful but relaxed way that I found much more approachable. Here is Science of Mom's review which prompted me to buy the book. 

Mama OT
I found this blog while researching Bumbo seats. Theo really liked sitting and I was questioning my minimalist decision to limit my baby gear, but a quick google search led me to Mama OT who discourages Bumbo's and explained better alternatives. Mama OT has become my go to website whenever I'm thinking of adding a new toy or product to Theo's collection or when I'm trying to figure out the best ways to encourage him in his physical development. While there is a lot of information available now about good and bad baby toys there's a lot less about baby gear; which is surprising, since gear can have a much greater impact on what a baby does during the day that a particular toy. I highly recommend this blog.